duo the red nosed reindeer?
by HentaiFreak and Yaoigurl
Summary: Yaoi/shounen-ai reindeers and elfs 'nuff said


duo the red nosed reindeer  
  
  
Duo: "snoring" huh? hey wuzzis? Dream? hello? Hey my nose is glowing, werid, Hmm? HEY!?!? I have hooves!! Ack!  
  
Donner: Well, I guess my son will not only have a red nose, but ridculously LONG hair.  
  
Duo: HEY, don't knock the mop.  
  
Marty: Duo that aint in the script, Youre supposed ta say "Papa"  
  
Duo: HELL NO!! thats it where's my fiancee?? She's gonna hear about this  
  
Donner: here son, wear this black rubber on your nose and no one will see it so you can play reindeer football. AND BE THE BEST!!!!  
  
Duo: NO NO NO NO!!!! you are not my father, you don't seem to understand. You see I am a human, named Duo, I am leaving now to go find my fiancee, DreamCloud, so I can YELL at her for doing this to me. OK??  
  
Donner: No you get out there right NOW!  
  
Meanwhile at Santa's workshop all the happy elves made their toys for all the good girls and boys...yadda..yadda..yadda... and they were happy with their work. All but one that is. This particular elf wnated to be a professional assissan, he was always toting a gun around. One of the misfits I suppose.  
  
Heero: I am not happy with you Dream, I hope you know this.  
  
DreamCloud: Not listining hmm...do..do..do..DECK THE HALLS.....  
  
Head Elf: HEERO, why arent you WORKING ON THE TOYS!?!?!?!?  
  
Heero: (aims gun) Because I want to be an assassin, not a F#$%^& ELF!  
  
A loud obnoxious bell rings, sounding through the whole facilitiy, scaring the crap out a few elves.  
  
Elf: Damn!  
  
Head Elf: TEN MINUTE BREAAAKK!! not you though gun boy, you finish the toys.  
  
Heero: Fine be that way.  
  
Marty: (gives Heero the script for his muscal #) Sing it   
  
Heero: No.  
  
Marty: Dreeeeeeeam.  
  
DreamCloud: SING IT!!  
  
Heero: (Shakily) Why am I such a misfit, I am not just a nitwit, I will be an assassin somedaaaaaay, then I will kill them aaaaaaalllll.  
  
Back at the reindeer games....  
  
Reindeer: Hut Hut HIIIIIKE!!  
  
Other Reindeer: Hey Duo, catch this and we win the game for the season!  
  
Duo: Hey I gant breadh wid dis ding on my node, whoa hey acg!   
  
Duo was also a VERY clumsy reindeer and the rubber on his nose instantly fell off leaving him glowin for all to see..  
  
Reindeer: Ha Ha.. FREAK  
  
Duo: Grrrrrrrrrrr. No one BUT NO ONE! calls the GOD OF DEATH A FREAK!!!!  
  
Duo was kicked off the team for fighting so he ran off crying like a baby as usual (heeey). Where he met a dashingly beatiful, young, doe named.......Dream (heh heh)  
  
Dream: (marlyin Monroeish voice) I don't think your a freak I think it's sexy i can't talk like this anymore. AND whoever turned us into these things is gonna get it Dammit!  
  
Duo: Whoa, clam down!   
  
Dream: ok lets see..(filps through script) oh yeah (reverts back to sexy voice) I think you did just fine, and even though you lost ....  
  
Marty: take it away dream! song #2  
  
Dream: There's alawas tommorow for Dreams to come true whever you think that they will......... Grrrrrrr Thats it no more song, I can't take it any more!   
  
Duo: Glows even brighter Ok?  
  
Marty: yes Spare the CHILDREN!!  
  
Any way..... While the reindeer are making a cake lets move back to our elf.  
  
Heero: Pull!   
  
The disgruntled elf was playing target practice with all the toys ment for the good girls and boys when.......  
  
Heero: Damn it I getting sick of this place . I'll run away.  
  
Our heero (hero) dug his way out of the factory only to discover two reindeers eloping in the snow.  
  
Dream: Ack! Heero, what the hell are you doing here  
  
Duo: Eep! heh heh oops  
  
Duo began to stutter stupidly and just babbled until dream's grandpa came and dragged her away. heero and Duo began to talk about why they were stuck in the woods. and then Marty came in  
  
Marty: Song #3. A Duett heh heh.  
  
Both: NO.  
  
Marty: SING!!!  
  
Both: were a couple of misfits, were a couple of misfits, we will kill them all somedaaaaaaaaaaay daaaaaaaaay.  
  
Duo: youre a bit sharp.  
  
heero: No youre a trifle flat.  
  
Both: Daaaaaaaaaay. and then well show them all.  
  
So the pair truged through the forrest to find some mystical doohickey err I mean to achieve their goals when they met. ....ummm... Quatre the silver miner.  
  
Quatre: Ey! ware ye all headed  
  
Duo: ummmmm to achieve our goals of fame and fortune.  
  
heero: I want to be a professional assassin.  
  
Duo: and i want to uhhhhhh (filps through script) be a proffesional reindeer football player on satan's er I mean santa's team.  
  
Quatre: (hack) eh? futeball. assassins, what wun't ye think of next. Well I want ter be a silver miner and strike it big in the mountains. yeh can come with me if ye want.  
  
D&H: yes fine great.  
  
So the reindeer and the elf hopped aboard the silver miners dog sled, which went crazy, and sped away through the mountain until they found......THE ABOMNIBLE WUFEI!!!!!  
  
Wufei: ONNA! if you make me go out there, I'll do something not nice.  
  
Dream: get the hell out there Wufei, or I'll castrate you.  
  
Wufei: Grrr roar grrrrr.....blah blah blah ROAR GRRRRRR HAGH HAFH GYRGLE HISSSS KILKJ   
  
Quatre: oh no ets the abomnible snow wufei!!!! quick duo douse yer light r hell kill us all.  
  
Duo: hey it glow...HEY whad are youd doing....I gant breatd  
  
Heero: Awwww shaddap  
  
And with that the disgrunteld elf socked the babbling reindeer in the "stomach" silenceing him instantly.  
  
Wufei: ONNNNAAAAAAAA!  
  
Dream: yes?  
  
Wufei: This costume is way to hairy for me to even breath in. I demand another one NOW!!  
  
Marty: Easily fixed my friend   
  
With that the anatomically incorrect Nymph took out a rather large razor and shaved Wufei..er..I mean the horrible snow creature bald. Completly and utterly bald. Turned him into a regular Q-ball, yep bald as a baby's butt, yep Bald......  
  
Wufei: OK THAT'S ENOUGH I'VE HAD ENOUGH WOMAN STOP WITH THE BALD JOKES! JEEZZ!  
  
Duo: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
  
Heero: Baka  
  
Quatre: Eh? what yar speakin' thar chinese excuse me sir?  
  
PropGuy: Yes?  
  
Quatre: May I have a lausinge please?  
  
PropGuy: How polite, yes you certantly may. Here you are.  
  
Quatre: Thank you.  
  
PropGuy: Youre welcome.  
  
Anyway....They made it past the bald snowthing and met up with Relena the singing snowwoman, who shattered the eardrums of all with her horrible singing.  
  
Relena: Hello, wanna hear my favorite song?  
  
Heero: No   
  
Relena: Heeeeerrrrrooooooooooo why did you kill me  
  
Duo: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Heero: ACK   
  
Relena:   
  
Quatre: CUT. I'm not saying this its too perverted...will someone help me with it, please?  
  
Suddenly, all 40 of the Maganacs appear out of nowhere, knocking Duo off the sled and looking for Quatre's attention as they pushed shove and set up camp   
  
Abdul: oh-oh-oh me me  
  
Rasid: No Quatre-Sama me me  
  
Walid: MEMEMEME'  
  
Others: ohohohoohohoohohohooooooooo ME NOME MEMEMEMEME NO NO PICK ME PICK MEME  
  
Duo: owww help oof hey someone owwww hel  
  
Quatre: STOP! YOURE TRAMPLING DUO-SAN!!!  
  
Rasid:   
  
Duo: OWWWWWWW that hurt Jerk! you pulled my shoulder out of place! Hee-chan Can you help me, please?  
  
Heero: Hai. how's that?  
  
Duo: .....................................................................AWWWW GOD HOLY F!@$#% HOT SHIT OH MY SHIMATTA YOOOOOOWWWWWWWII hmmmm yaoi heh heh OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW   
  
Heero: Aww Shaddap you're just fine  
  
Duo: BUt it hurts  
  
Heero: Well want me to kiss it and make it all better for you then?  
  
Duo: mmmm...Sure go ahead  
  
Dream: NONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOONO I DON'T THINK SO BOYS. HEERO YOU GO KISS SOMEONE ELSE, DUO, YOU GET THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW! HEERO YOUR GONNA GET IT WHEN YOU GET HOME EVEN IF YOU DID KILL IT YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS KISSING MY BOYFRIEND. ERRRRRRR  
  
Heero: Calm down Dream, I was just kidding anyway. And remember, Duo and I are still m..  
  
Marty: NO shut up Heero!  
  
Heero: Sorry.  
  
Marty: ACTION  
  
Heero: Well apparently we need to keep going or we will be stuck out here forever.  
  
Duo: Yeah.  
  
Quatre:A' right then mush.  
  
So as our party made their way to the ummm.... ok as they aimlessly wandered around they came across the isiland of misfit OZ people and toys.  
  
Trieize: Welcome, would you like some roses or are you here for the toys.  
  
H&D&Q: Toys  
  
WuFei: But youre pretty hot Treize.  
  
Treize: you are too. Room please, we need to have a sword fight  
  
Wufei: en garde  
  
Duo: GROSS!  
  
Anyway...the toys dragged them off to their leader Trowa the winged lion who blinks!  
  
Heero: Sir we would like to stay on this island over night because we are all tired.  
  
Trowa:....... ... ...... ... .. ......... ......... ...... .. . . ................................................. . . . ... .. ......... . .. .. ../ .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .. .. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . ...........  
  
Heero: Huh?  
  
Quatre: Wow  
  
Duo: He said we can stay but we have to tell satan err santa about his island and as long as you don't cause trouble, we're fine.  
  
Heero: Duo, how the Hell do you know that?  
  
Duo: huh? I don't know.  
  
Quatre: Wow Trowa you look really hot in that outfit.  
  
Trowa: ...... ..... .. . . . . . . . ...... . ........ .....  
  
Quatre: Promise?  
  
Trowa:...  
  
Quatre: I ummm have to have asecret meeting with the king guys, go ahead to your cabin.  
  
H&D: Yessssssss   
  
Trowa: ...... . . . ........... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . Please.  
  
RoyalCourt: yessir  
  
Well, isin't this nice? After the royal court left, the silverminer and the king got down to business While the reindeer and the elf had already finished theirs.  
  
Duo: That was to fast we never take the same amount of time Quatre and Trowa do.  
  
Heero: Stop complaining.  
  
Meanwhile  
  
Quatre:   
  
Trowa  
  
The next day......  
  
D&H&Q: Bye thank you.  
  
Trowa: No, thank you bye Quatre, see you when this stupid thing is over.  
  
So our heero's leave and begin to make their way back to the north pole when they meet up with the abominabile snow WuFei, who is cranky from lack of sleep.   
  
WuFei: ROAR I WANT YOU TO STOP FOLWING ME AND LEAVE ME ALONE I NEVER DID ANY THING TO YOU I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE...oh hold on Give me one second... SO STOP CALLING ME Ok, anyway I.... EERK LOOK OUT!  
  
The boys turn around to find an enraged Dream running after them shouting at Duo and Heero.  
  
Dream: DUO YOU WORTHLESS CHEATING....YOU NASTY LIITTLE,,,,, OHHH I OUGHTA KILL YOU YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY YOU PIECE OF .............. ERRRRRRRRAHHH I HATE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH THE WEDDING IS OFF. AND AS FOR YOU HEERO, YEAH THAT'S RIGHT YOU TWO BETTER RUN, HEERO YOU'RE DEAD DEAD DEAD.  
  
Duo: NOOOO he made me do it because we haven't gotten divorced yet and he didn't want to tell you that so we tried to keep it a sceret but then Heero said what you don't know can't hurt you and ohhhhh please don't hate me, I love you.  
  
Heero: Hurry WuFei, Jump on.  
  
WuFei: yahhhhh ow.  
  
So as the trio made it back to Santa's Pad.....  
  
Duo: We're back  
  
Santa: Huh? oh yeah sweeet your'e back. Hey who's the chick and woah it the snow thingy!!!  
  
WuFei: can I put the star on so we can go?  
  
Santa: Yeah whatever.  
  
So WuFei put the star on the tree and then found Heero to be incredably attractive so he jumped on him and they started kissing and feeling eachother up, Heero threw the ring Duo gave him at Duo and Duo started crying so Dream had to calm him down so they could go do things together but he wouldn't stop crying, so Dream had to stand there and tell him that it was ok and he didn't even need Heero because they had eachother, so Duo finally shut-up and he and Dream made it to their bedroom and had fun for hours.   
As for Heero and WuFei, well we'll save that for later.  
  
Quatre: What about me and Trowa ?  
  
Trowa: WE live happily ever after in my castle on the beach, which makes it even more romantic for the both of us .  
  
Quatre: I like that a lot.  
  
THE END THE END THE END THE END THEEND THE END THE END THE END   
  
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